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Od: Datum: 22.03.13 17:09 odpovědí: 4 změna: 22.03.13 18:57

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The unsuccessful vandal

One evening last weekend, Jane Smith heard deafening bang. It was out of clothes shop at the end of the street. It was 10 pm. Jane saw no one because it was dark.

The following day, she walked around the store.Vandal broke three windows and doors. He destroyed a bus stop on the corner of street. Nobody saw the crime. Unfortunately, vandal lost him wallet. His wallet contained identification card,photos, credit card, and some money. Then Jane phoned the police.

The next day, police officer went at the vandl´s house. Vandal was very unpleasantly surprised. As soon as vandal repaired windows and computers, doors and new bus stop. Policeman took him to the police station. She (Jane) was surprised because the vandal was her best friend Jake.


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Odpovědi na otázku:
Datum: 22.03.13 17:30
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I would write it like this:

The unsuccessful vandal

One evening last weekend, Jane Smith heard a deafening bang. It was from the clothes shop at the end of the street. It was 10 pm. Jane didn't see anyone ("saw nobody" or "saw no one" would probably be OK too, but in this context "didn't see anyone" is a but better) because it was dark.

The following day, she walked around the store. The vandal broke three windows and doors and destroyed a bus stop on the corner of the treet. Nobody saw the crime. Unfortunately, the vandal lost his wallet. It contained his identification card, photos, credit card, and some money. Jane phoned the police.

The next day, a police officer went at the vandal´s house. The vandal was very unpleasantly surprised. As soon he repaired broken windows and computers (Computers? The previous part doesn't mention them...), doors and new (If it was new (replaced the broken one), there was no need for a repair, or was it?) bus stop. The policeman took him to the police station. She (Jane) was surprised because the vandal was her best friend Jake.

doplněno 22.03.13 19:15:

@dzordz: "...was quite shocked..."?

Ohodnoceno: 0x
 
Datum: 22.03.13 18:29

díky moc

Od: kobrik
Datum: 22.03.13 17:38
10 PM. Vandls | vandals.
Ohodnoceno: 0x
 
Datum: 22.03.13 18:57
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"Vandal" je tam aspoň 30x, takže vzít pár synonym: offender, culprit, možná delinquent nebo burglar, po chycení criminal.

Trochu pospojovat věty: 10pm přiřadit k dark; broke the door and three windows and also destroyed, but nobody saw; his wallet, containing.

Bang came out, ale při takové demolici jich asi bylo víc, tak třeba ruckus coming out of..

Možná i přepsat, že byl very unpleasantly surprised, protože jeho pocity byly asi trochu někde jinde.

Ohodnoceno: 0x
 

 

 

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