Kontrola AJ eseje

Od: Datum: 07.04.13 19:32 odpovědí: 2 změna: 08.04.13 06:28

Ahoj, jsem v Aj docela začátečník. Prosím o kontrolu a zhodnocení eseje na téma Fair Trade, jak se vám ta práce zdá po obsahové a gramatické stránce. Budu rád za kritiku, abych si to mohl opravit. Děkuju

FairTradeas thepreventionof child labor Many people are aware the fact that much of the population suffers from malnutrition and lack of medicine, food and drinking water in developing countries. These harsh conditions suffer most children. But there is another problem that is overlooked. It is the fact that a large proportion of children are forced to hard work to ensure the survival of yourself and your family in these countries. These are the different types of work, from work to family field to almost slave labor on plantations and farms (tobacco, cocoa) Child labor is a widespread problem in developing countries to the present day. There are 218 millions child workers on the world in year 2004 according dates from the International Labor Organization, Compared to 2000 however it is improved because the children had been working about 246 millions. These children are mostly modern slaves. If we will buy goods only from companies whose goods are not produced children in the developing world, the slavers will not have a job for their slaves and the kids will have their childhood again. With this concept works mark Fair Trade, which connects traders and they concerned about who works for them. The concept of Fair Trade ensures that the production was not abused child or forced labor, people involved in the production got a fair price and other measures under international labor standards. Also included is the prevention of negative impacts of production on the environment and that the entire production was the long-term sustainability. The main positive impacts of Fair Trade include improving the markets for producers who do not exploit children or woman and workers are protected from forced and child labor. The negative of Fair Trade is the higher cost of production and distribution.


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Odpovědi na otázku:
Od: luke237
Datum: 08.04.13 06:24
Opravim jen nektere chyby:

  • laboUr: hlaskovani bez "U" je americke
  • are aware OF the fact
  • medicine &rarr: medical care
  • Thses harsh conditions suffer most children = Tyto tezke podminky trpi hodne deti. ASi melo byt: "Most children (vetsina deti) nebo Mostly children (vetsinou deti) suffer from these harsh conditions".
  • the durvical of THEMSELVES and THEIR families
  • The different type of work range from work on the family field ...
  • In 2004 there were 218 million child workers in the world according to the data from ...
  • Comapred to 200 it is however an improvement because then there were 246 million children working. (tohle zni kostrbate, ale chtel jsem zachovat tu strukturu vetu, kterou jsi vytvoril, avy jsi videl ten rozdil).
  • If we buy goods ...
  • produced BY children
  • slavers neni slovo. Spise "slave owners", "slave employers" apod.
  • The Fair Trade BRAND works (lepe: is based) on this concept. It connects traders and THOSE who are concerned about who works for them.
  • that the prodcution DID not abused
  • and the long-term sustainability of the entire production.
  • children or womEn
  • The negativeS ARE

Nejsou to vsechny chyby, co tam mas (nektere vety zni dost kostrbate nebo nepresne, ale to casem vychytas). Chtel jsem poukazat na hlavni a zasadni chyby, z nichz vetsinu uz bys mohl vedet.
Ohodnoceno: 0x
 
Od: luke237
Datum: 08.04.13 06:28
Vsiml jsem nekterych svych preklepu ve sve odpovedi *zed*

  • medicine → medical care
  • These harsh ...
  • the survival of themselves ...
  • the different typeS of work ..
  • production
Ohodnoceno: 0x
 

 

 

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