Kontrola anglického textu - vražda Lennona

Od: Datum: 23.09.14 16:16 odpovědí: 4 změna: 24.09.14 05:51

Dobrý den,

měl by někdo prosím čas a nepodíval se mi na tento text, jestli je správně gramaticky napsaný? Budu moc vděčný! :D

John Lennon’s death

I will tell the story of the murder of John Lennon. John Lennon, his wife Yoko Ono and their five-year son lived in New York in The Dakota Apartments near by the Central Park. On the December 8, 1980, around 5:00 PM Lennon and Ono left The Dakota for a recording session at Record Plant Studios. As they walked toward their limousine, Mark Chapman shook hands with Lennon and asked for him to sign a copy of his new album. Lennon didnt know, that is the man who murders him a few hours later.

Around 10:49 PM, the Lennons limousine returned to the Dakota. Yoko Ono got out first. Lennon started to follow her into the building. From the street behind them, Chapman fired five shots from a revolver, four of which hit Lennon in the back and left shoulder. Lennon staggered up five steps to the reception area, saying, "Im shot. The concierge first started to make first aid, but multiple injuries caused murder weapon were severe.

Outside Chapman sat down on the sidewalk a read his favourite book The Catcher in the Rye. The first policemen to arrive immediately arrested him, put Chapman in handcuffs and he was taken to a police station. Chapman made no attempt to flee or resist arrest. The second team arrived a few minutes later. Realizing the extent of Lennons injuries, they decided not to wait for an ambulance and immediately carried him into their squad car and rushed him to hospital. When Lennon arrived in hospital, he had no pulse and was not breathing. Doctors tried to revive John, but after twenty minutes he was pronounced dead.

Chapman was acucused of second degree murder. In courtroom Chapman pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to 20 years to life, less than the maximum possible of 25 years to life. He is still in prison, 34 years since his arrest, having been denied parole eight times.


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Odpovědi na otázku:
Od: lmgify
Datum: 23.09.14 21:03

Jen pár poznámek. Nebudu psát všechno, co bych změnil.

Im going to tell a story ...

near Central Park

who would murder him ...

started to administer/provided first aid

caused BY the murder weapon were severe (spíše serious).

aND read his favourite ...

Celkově ten text není vůbec špatný. Solidní slovní zásoba. Větší cit pro jazyk tak, jak ho používají rodilí mluvčí, se vyvine časem, až toho více naposloucháš a přečteš. U mě by to byla jednička :)

Ohodnoceno: 0x
 
Od: jajajaj
Datum: 23.09.14 22:26

Děkuji moc! :-D

Od: lmgify
Datum: 23.09.14 23:36

Mám tam překlep. Má být: ... started to provide first aid.

Ještě jsem si všiml: .. on December 8, 1980 ...

... asked him to sign ... (ask for him znamená "vyžádal si ho", "požádal jiné lidi, aby ho zavolali", apod.)

the Lennons limousine (limuzína Lennonových) asi má být Lennon"s limousine (Lennonova limuzína)

Ohodnoceno: 0x
 
Datum: 24.09.14 05:51
avatar

Jen par drobnosti:

their five year old son

near the Central Park

asked him to sign

started giving first aid

injuries caused by the murder weapon

rushed him to a hospital

accused (spelling)

jinak velmi pekna prace

doctors tried to resuscitate him

arrived at the hospital

Ohodnoceno: 0x
 

 

 

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